The Anniversary
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Give it a shot and please review. As ever, I don't own Criminal Minds.


**Author's Note: Thank you, Michaela, for that list of prompts! It's proving invaluable. Please, everyone, let me know what you think! I love reviews and PM's. As ever, I don't own Criminal Minds.**

**Anniversary**

**Her Side**

He hadn't remembered, JJ thought, thoroughly disappointed. Well, what did she expect? They'd agreed that this wouldn't be a serious relationship over a year ago. That this would just be something to ease an ache. She couldn't be angry, she told herself. It wasn't allowed. But it could hurt. And it did. Deeply. A year ago, she'd never have thought that they'd still be doing what they were doing. What were the doing, anyway? It felt like more than fucking. They were certainly together more than could be considered "just casual". But they'd never defined what they had. Her, because she'd been scared of what he'd say. Him…well…him, she didn't know.

She knew he was faithful to her. That had been the deal. As long as they were sleeping together, they wouldn't do anything with anyone else. And, she had no doubt that he'd kept his end of the bargain. They occupied each other's beds too often to think anything else. At first, it HAD just been sex…amazingly hot intense sex. Quite frankly, the best she'd ever had…but as the weeks had progressed into months, as he'd held her against her in the aftermath of their encounters and talked quietly about anything and everything, she'd fallen in love with the forbidden man.

And, damn, he'd warned her. In the very beginning…he'd warned her that he wasn't looking for anything beyond the release their bodies could bring each other. He'd arrogantly told her that while he was excellent at delivering mind blowing orgasms, he was hell at anything beyond a physical relationship. He had the three failed marriages behind him to prove it. He'd warned her without ever saying the words that she shouldn't fall in love with him. But she hadn't listened. Instead, she'd allowed herself to become absorbed in him. And now, she was in love. She was ensnared in her own damn trap and there was no escape. A year to the day that David Rossi had first taken her to bed, she could admit it to herself.

Maybe it was time to stop this madness…just go cold turkey. If she'd fallen in love, perhaps she could fall out of it, too. Then she thought of all the nights he'd held her in his arms and worshiped her body. All the nights they'd laid in his or her bed, their bodies entwined just holding each other. And she didn't know…she didn't know how much longer she'd be able to take whatever crumbs he decided to throw her way and try to be satisfied. She didn't know if she could ever give him up.

**His side**

She thought he'd forgotten. How could he forget? He'd never forget…not as long as he lived. Damn, how had this happened? How had he allowed that tiny slip of a woman to do what no other woman had ever been able to do before her? He'd allowed that beautiful vixen to completely captivate him. It was supposed to have been a short term affair. Hell, it shouldn't have even qualified as an affair…it was supposed to have been an occasional casual fuck. Easy, right?

Ha! It had been anything but…because each time he'd held her beautiful body in his arms, he'd become more intoxicated. Like an addict craving his next fix. And only she would do…Not that he'd tried with anyone else. His only promise to her had been fidelity. And he'd kept it. Because David Rossi did not lie….and after awhile, he hadn't wanted to. Because no other woman would do. He'd had his share of offers but, none of those other women, none of them had JJ's fire…her heat…her heart.

He hadn't wanted to fall in love with her. In the beginning, he'd liked her…and God knew, he'd thought her body was sex on a stick…but he'd not been in love with her. He'd wanted to screw her brains out. And he had. A lot. But somewhere during those long dark nights that they'd spent together, his icy heart had thawed….melted under her gentle ministrations. And now, exactly one year later, he wanted a hell of a lot more than he'd originally anticipated. He not only wanted her delectable body…he wanted her heart as well.

Now, he had to find a way to convince a woman that he'd bluntly told not to love him that he was worth a very big risk. He was nothing if not a determined man though. He always got what he wanted. And he'd decided, months ago, that he wanted Jennifer Jareau's love.

**The culmination**

"You seem distant tonight," Dave said softly, watching JJ toy with her Chinese food.

Nearly choking on her wanton noodles, JJ looked quickly up into the older man's face. For a moment, she wondered if he'd done this intentionally….this particular meal. She wondered if he knew that he'd basically recreated the first night they'd been together and quickly rejected the idea. There was nothing sentimental about what they were doing to David Rossi. This was sex for sex's sake and if she was going to survive this…him…she had to remember that. "I've just had a lot on my mind today," JJ murmured.

"Mmmm," he said, raising a brow. Tugging her hand to bring her into contact with his body on the couch, he whispered, "I've got a cure for that." Covering her lips, Dave slowly caressed her lips as he felt JJ stiffen against him.

Standing quickly, JJ shook her head, realizing that she couldn't do this anymore. Couldn't continue to give her body and heart to a man that would never give her anything back in return. "I can't do this anymore, Dave."

"What?" he asked, staring blankly up at her.

"This," JJ replied, gesturing around the darkened room. "Us. I'm sorry, but I just can't," she said, grabbing her keys and purse from the table as she rushed toward the door before she could change her mind.

"JJ! Wait!" he called, rising to follow her quickly moving body.

"No," JJ said, over her shoulder. Turning to face him, her face drawn, she shook her head. "It's over. No, wait that's wrong. It never really started, did it?"

"Damn it, you're talking in circles! Tell me what's wrong? What changed?" Dave yelled, desperately trying to understand what was happening.

Biting her lip, JJ pressed clenched one small hand into a fist as her other opened the back door to his cabin. "I guess I did," she said on a sad whisper. "Goodbye, Dave," she said softly, slipping out the door.

Staring at the empty doorway where she'd stood just moments before with a pounding heart, he wondered just what exactly had just happened in the last few minutes. She was gone - without a backward glance at him. And the pain he'd seen shadowing her eyes…it had stolen his breath. How could she leave like that? Just walk away from him, taking his heart with her. Without even a goddamn explanation. She'd walked away. She'd left him. And, Jesus, he thought disjointedly, it hurt like hell.

**Resolution**

Was that pounding at her door or in her head, JJ thought, raising swollen eyes to stare at the front door of her condo two hours later. Pushing herself from the couch, she blotted her eyes with her thousandth tissue as she heard an irate David Rossi yell, "Jen! Open the goddamn door! I deserve an explanation, damn you!"

Wrapping her arms around herself, JJ bent forward at the waist as pain washed over her. God, this was hard enough! Why did he have to make it worse? Why couldn't that arrogant man just leave her alone with her pain?

"I mean it, Jen! I'll pound on this fucking door all night! I'm not leaving until we talk!" Dave shouted through the door.

Straightening, JJ wiped at her eyes as she walked toward the door. Taking a breath before opening it, she tried to steel herself…vainly tried to shore up her defenses against the man just outside. Finally opening it, she stared into hollow eyes. "Go home, Dave," JJ whispered. "There's nothing left for us to say. There never really was."

"The hell there's not," Dave growled, shoving his way past her into the house. "You deliver a parting shot like you did and expect me not to want some answers? You know me better than that! Now, start fucking talking! What the hell did I do?"

"You didn't do anything," JJ whispered brokenly, fighting tears.

"Then why?" David barked.

"Because I can't do it anymore!" JJ shouted. "I can't be your fuck buddy anymore!"

"That was NEVER what you were to me, damn you!" Dave denied, shaking his head vigorously.

Licking her lips, JJ shook her head. "That's exactly what we were, Dave. What I was. What I allowed myself to be. I was a convenience….a willing convenience…but still a convenient fuck. And, now, I'm done," JJ said softly.

Mouth dropping open at her words, Dave searched for the words…the words that would stop her from slipping out of his life. He took in her swollen tear filled eyes and shattered expression and felt his breath catch in his chest. "Is that all I was to you?" he asked her, his voice shaking. "Did you see me as just some man you'd been fucking for a year today?"

JJ fought the sob rising in her throat, but his words, his tremulously uttered words, forced it from her throat. "Never!"

Dave started to reach for her, but she took a step back, putting a hand up to stop him. "I meant what I said. I can't do this anymore!" she cried, tears now running unchecked down her cheeks. "You warned me not to fall in love with you and I broke rule number one. I get that this is my own fault! I do! But, I want out now! I need out, David! This hurts too much!" she screamed in pain.

Raising a shaking hand to run through his graying hair, Dave shook his head. "Don't cry, Jennifer," he pleaded.

Laughing bitterly, JJ shook her head as the tears kept falling. "Just go," she begged. "Please go."

"No," Dave whispered, shaking his head. "I can't walk away. I'm tired of taking the easy way out. I've been doing it for years…leaving when it gets hard. I won't do it anymore," he said deliberately, slowly moving toward her. "You're worth more to me than my foolish pride."

Wiping her eyes and dropping her head into her trembling hands, JJ murmured, "Don't make this harder for me. I never thought I'd have the strength to walk away and you're making it so much worse!"

"Why, Jen? Why didn't you think you'd have the strength to walk away?" Dave questioned softly.

"Don't make me say it," JJ moaned.

"Then I'll say it first, honey. I love you, Jennifer," Dave confessed. Watching her face, he waited for a reaction. When none was forthcoming, he said it again. "I love you, Jennifer."

"No, you don't," she finally said, raising her head to look at him dully. "You feel bad. You might not want to see me hurt. But, you don't love me."

"It's true. I didn't want to and I fought against it…but I do," Dave said softly, staring at her wan face. "And now that I know it, really know it, I can't lose it. I won't lose it," he said with a bone deep resolve. "Tell me that you don't love me, Jen. If you can tell me that, I'll walk away. I'll let you go without an argument. But you have to tell me."

Struggling, JJ shook her head.

"Come on, Jen. You want me gone? Say the words, damn it!" Dave yelled, stepping in front of her.

"I can't," she screamed, slapping his chest. "I love you! I've loved you for months! But-"

Shaking his head, he cut her off as his mouth descended to hers. Seizing her lips with an unchecked passion, he sought to show her his love…to prove its depth to her. Finally drawing back, cupping her face in gentle hands, he gazed down into her watery eyes as he said gently, "There aren't any more "buts", JJ.

I'm done running from what I feel and I'll be damned if I let you do it either. We can do this. We've been doing it for months. We just didn't realize it."

"You're sure?" she asked, a wealth of hope and longing bleeding into her simple question.

"Happy Anniversary, sweetheart," Dave nodded, bending his lips to hers again.

**THE END**


End file.
